The role of family regarding abuse – chat on #DisabledSurvivor

#DisabledSurvivor chat on Wednesday February 22nd 2017 at 8 pm CET/ 11 am PST/ 2 pm EST

Welcome to #DisabledSurvivor, a space for all disabled survivors of emotional, physical and sexualized #CN_abuse.
You can read about what we talked about so far on the hashtag #DisabledSurvivor.
This time I want to host a chat about the “role of family regarding abuse of disabled survivors”, bc I think it is crucial if there was/is someone in our surroundings who is believing us, a person to disclose to, or if we get/got the same message as from the majority of society to keep quiet in order to not complicate their relations to abusers, especially when those are in a powerful positions.

The more marginalized a person is, the harder abuse is to disclose. Nobody wants more #stigma on top of the already existing. Survivors often protect their families when those families are already multiple marginalized.

This topic occupied a lot of my thoughts, how come that a progressive and in many cases solidary family of mine internalized the unwritten law to keep silent about abuse? Was it just classism they feared, was it something beyond the individual situation? In my first (guest) blogpost ever years ago where I examined stigmatizing wording for survivors and abuse, the situations of late disclosure, I retell some scenes of Thomas Vinterbergs movie “Festen” (The celebration). All the guests are confronted with the abuse that Christian discloses on the birthday celebration of his father, the patriarch, but they go on celebrating as if nothing ever happened. They are for me “society”. And for me society does not play a small „supporting role“ in individual lives. Ever.

You can answer the question as personal or as abstract as you need them to be.
You are welcome to name all intersections you experience if you want to.
(With “role of family regarding abuse” I don’t necessarily think of abuse by relatives, but of their positioning towards the #abuse)
If you respond to a question such as Q1, your tweet should follow this format: “A1 [your message] #DisabledSurvivor
If you need more than one tweet to answer, please add (1) or /1 and so forth to this format, thanks!
As possible participants live in very different time zones, feel welcome to answer the questions later as well, I will come back to you the next day/ASAP.

Q1: What do you think needs to be urgently addressed on this #DisabledSurvivor chat about familiy’s role regarding abuse?

Q2: What role does family play regarding the im_possibility of disclosure of CN_abuse? #DisabledSurvivor

Q3: Which other forms of oppression make it harder for a survivor (and maybe for the family) to get support/back up? #DisabledSurvivor

Q4: How does being disabled make especially vulnerable to experience #abuse by close ppl/significant others? #DisabledSurvivor

Q5: What does being believed (for the first time/at all) change? What is a helpful reaction/support towards a survivor? #DisabledSurvivor

Q6: What would make it a little bit easier to talk about #abuse, especially as a #DisabledSurvivor and multiple marginalized person?

Q7: Has there ever been any helpful representation of a (disabled) #survivor in RL/films/books etc that empowered you? #DisabledSurvivor

Q8: What do you think, what kind fundamentally change in society does it need to change the discourse about #survivors? #DisabledSurvivors